‘Posh’ Tumbridge Wells: ‘Hooligan’ foxes cut car cables

Fox youth recently have been held responsible for attacking human’s cars in the posh commuter town of Royal Tumbridge Wells, in attempt to take out the annoying posh humans. The toffs kept on waking up in the morning to find their brake cables cut and instantly presumed it was the work of a vandal with a grudge. Even the clueless cops believed it was ‘foul play’ after six attacks were reported in a fortnight.

Now it apparently turns out it could have been a rampaging gang of fox cubs. According to a so called wildwife expert the young animals, which use the underside of cars as cover when they are on the prowl, often chew on the pipes to help strengthen their jaws and teeth. The posh drivers are now being told to check their brakes are working before setting off and are also been advised to wash their cars in animal repellents in order to try and deter the foxes, more like poison them!

One local posh twit is not so convinced: ‘I can’t believe for a second it was just foxes. The cuts are just too clean. I think it was more malicious. I want cast iron proof that it was a fox.’

Haha guess the foxes are not available for foot prints or DNA testing! We at FOTH really like the idea that fox youth attacked them in a anti-rich or anti-civilization vendetta!

 

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